Thank you all, and thank you Louise82, I think I do need to spend more time trying to connect with the people at the meetings. My issue always seems to be that I have to get home to do xyz for the kids. This is where I think inpatient treatment is so helpful because the focus is on the alcoholic's recovery. Unfortunately, those of us in the real world have demons to battle and lives to live at the same time. It's harder I think. Not impossible, but harder. Some times I would like to be taken away and able to focus only on getting better. But being a mom, wife, provider come first. This doesn't make it impossible. Just means I have to fight harder to give myself what I need to get better. And I do believe it is an illness. I don't think we're weak. I don't think we're bad people. I think there is a chemical imbalance that makes some people more prone to fall victim to alcoholism than others. Yes, it is an addiction. But it starts off so benign. You don't see the problem until you're in too deep. Cigarettes. Everyone knows they're addictive. Don't want to be addicted, don't smoke. Seems simple. Alcohol should also warn people that it can be addictive. In reality, that probably would not have stopped me but I still feel it needs more press. Only after I had a problem did I learn that there is a family history of alcoholism on my fathers side. Still, the labels point out the side effects of drinking while pregnant, drinking and driving, no where have I seen "drink this and you could become an alcoholic." Is it an excuse? Absolutely not. But dealing with this, I still feel like it should be on there somewhere. Then again, they might have to add labels to chocolate that say "eat this and you could get fat". *shaking my head*
We all know these things but somehow, some of us, manage to get attacked while others can eat their chocolate and never gain a pound. I know I have to watch what I eat, guess this just means I need to watch what I drink too. I don't give a second thought to cutting out sweets, you'd think I could cut the booze as easily.
I honestly never thought I would be an alcoholic. Never gave a damn about alcohol, take it or leave it like I said, until about 4 years ago. Then SLAM DUNK, now I'm an alcoholic and it's really hard to wrap my brain around that sometimes.
Fought with my husband a LOT today. Is it him or is it me? I'm not the most rational today so we agreed to disagree but he has a problem with leaving it at that and has to make comments under his breath which seriously PISSES ME OFF. If it's done, it's done. We're not having a good day. Walk away until we can both come back calmer. Don't critacize and then walk away from me mumbling under your breath the whole time. I am trying to avoid freaking out here and you are SO not helping. Gaaaa!!!
