onthebrink, yeah I used to do the hiding out and drinking alone at home thing too. With the AA meetings, I would suggest getting there early and staying afterwards to talk people one-on-one or in small groups. When I started doing that, people started directly telling me how they got sober. Keep looking for similarities between you and whoever's speaking during the actual meetings. Even if I can't relate to the things other people have done, I can relate to the feelings they describe.
If you do want to ask questions of the person telling their story, go up to them after the meeting and strike up a conversation with them. They'll be happy to help. All of this was so awkward for me to do at the beginning because I'm so naturally a "hider" but I'm 3 months and 3 weeks back from my last relapse now and going for a coffee with three other women after the meeting this morning just showed me how far I've come.
Like Ptcapote said, you come across as very self-aware and that will help you to continue learning from this slip and from the sober week you put together before that. No one can take that week away from you. Now is the time to build on it! This time coming back from my relapse, I also started saying "I just won't drink today" instead of making the grandiose but empty promises I had in the past and it's still working for me.
