I'm sorry you lost your job. I hope you can recover your sobriety. With that I'm sure you can find a way to land on your feet.
I also wanted to say I love your alias, BehindBlueEyes. That was my favorite song for many years and is possibly the best musical description of addiction that I have ever heard. There are numerous stories about what it's "really" about but it summed up my feelings of anger, loneliness and alienation as an addict (who happens to have blue eyes). For those who don't know it, here's a link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfuWXRZe9yA
and here are the lyrics:
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes