gothbarbie

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site but have been lurking on here for quite sometime now & it has brought some peace of mind at those hard times I'm currently going thru. ok so here goes my long story....

My bf & I met 2 years ago & have been on & off together ever since. I just recently realized he had a really bad pain killer addiction. We started dating & off the bat he was always nodding off while driving & sometimes appearing "drunk" in public, slurring, etc. Anyhow I had never dealt with a drug addict before so I did not know ALL that came with it. He was very moody at times, had extreme highs & lows (I'm assuming due to being high), sometimes would think we shouldn't be together bc I was "too good" for him & that I needed someone that could reciprocate what I was giving him. Then he finally broke up with me after new years & we didn't really speak until 3 months later when I couldn't take it anymore & I called him to see how he was doing. He then emailed me a week or so later asking if I wanted to get a place together to only be "roomates" bc as he put it wasn't ready for anything other than something platonic at the time. I agreed thinking I'd win him back & all would be well. That seemed to work except for the constant push & pull I was getting from him, along with the highs & lows again he would go thru. I finally gave him an ultimatum & he finally committed to me. All was well until months later & I started noticing that he hardly ever had money except for rent & some food. He would just lie around on the couch when off work & watch t.v. I had to plead him to do anything, then he may or may not. Anyways, everytime it came time for us to go away together for a weekend , he was always in a hurry to get home to buy pills. It would **** me off to no end. He ended up getting fired from his job. His stepfather had a stroke afterwards & later died & so he & his sister had to take care of his mother who had severe dementia. He'd have to go over on the weekends & stay with her. He didn't have the best relationship with his parents or his sister, always talking trash on them, etc. I noticed that overtime of staying over there he was stealing pills from the house & taking them plus also buying morphine pills from the lady downstairs from us. It seemed like every month he'd go thru withdrawals until finally one weekend he started puking up green vomit & told his sister about his drug problem & that he needed help. She told me he'd gone thru this with him twice before in & out of 2 rehabs in the last few years. Prior to him coming clean about his addiction to her, we were having major problems in our relationship. He kept saying "he needed to be alone" & wanted me to move out or go stay with family for a few months across the country. H'ed then wake up another morning holding me not wanting me to go claiming he loved me. Well finally that day came where he went to detox & when I picked him up to take him home he broke the news to me that we needed to break up. My heart shattered into a million pieces at that point & has been ever since. I didn't have enough money to leave & drive across the states to my family so his sister gave me the money to do so & I literally felt "written off". She was so cold about doing so. She basically kicked me out of the apt the day after she took him to rehab & I have not heard a word from him or her or any of his family ever since. It has been 2 months. He was in a really expensive celebrity type rehab place so I can't help but to feel as if he's gonna relapse & it's more like a resort vacation than an actual rehab. His sister is using his mother's money & supporting him through all of this & I'm so angry & sad bc I felt like I have just been thrown away like garbage! It hurts so much :/ Some days are better than others but I've never had depression/anxiety this bad before until all of this. He said he loved me & that he would keep in touch but he hasn't & I know for a fact at this facility that they allow cell phone/computer usuage at anytime. I even heard from a friend that he'd been on facebook telling everyone he's sorry for his absence but he'd be happy to answer any questions anyone had...WTF?! ugh sorry but I am extremely hurt. Any kind words or advice or similar experience, please share.