Thankfully holidays are now taken out of my hands and I need not worry. My husband is an only child and his parents are divorced and incommunicado. Mother in law is goofy and usually spends holidays on her own. My family has taken to spending all holidays with my now 93 year old grandfather. He lives alone, drives, golfs four days a week, weather permitting, but doesn't care to drive an hour to reach the rest of us as his eyesight has been getting worse(I think he uses that as an excuse, but hey, he is 93.)
He and my now deceased grandmother decided over twenty years ago that they drank too much and quit cold turkey, never to drink again. no alcohol in the house. So, if my husband cannot go because he is not"feeling well" he stays home and I go with the kids.
I do think that in addition to being an alcoholic my AH has a social anxiety disorde. Most of his extreme drunks have happened when we were hosting our kids' birthday parties. AH didn't make it to our son's second birthday party which i now recall was the day that I called an ambulance because I though he was having a seizure and he later dragged me out of the car when he refused treatment and I went to pick him up. I posted on that earlier.
Solid isn't miss him holidays. He will be sober in the a.m. If he misses the later part of the day, the kids still have fun.