Originally Posted by
Florence 
Ditto! Well, except for any day *he* stood to get some special time and presents. He was always there for those days.
My XA ruined his OWN birthday this year. We were supposed to be together, had planned it for a couple days. Of course, he was on a bender-from-hell through the planning, so I was totally prepared for him to flake on the whole thing.
It actually helped me feel better about other special occasions he had ruined. I finally understood he wasn't drinking AT me, or actively trying to destroy things I cared about. It wasn't personal!
(The last few Halloweens were a total crap shoot - drunk for one, half drunk for one, nice n' sober for one. This year: no guess work, no worry, no dread. Quiet, but peaceful.)