Today I went to my psychiatrist,
I had to explain what I had been up to in 3 months.....
Not very pleased with me but I told him, what is the point of lying.
About 3 weeks ago, my left eye lid has been pulling down constantly,
gets stuck and goes back up...
And after taking notes the Doc has said that:
It is not a normal tick... and I am damaging my nerves system,
I need to go to a Neurologist...
and should not been drinking, smoking pot,... antidepressants and I did not tell him about the benzo of the other night cos he will go mad...
I told him about my loss of concentration, I can barely concentrate....
at work a nightmare..
but I really am not ready to walk by myself...
I nearly hurt myself I was so desperate... I do not want to go back to that...
I really need the meds.
So I got more pills and some new ones at night... and more vitamine B12...
But Guess What...
the first thing I do is got to paint class, open the fridge and started drinking,
For a very long time I have never drunk in my classes... and after I did a phone call got in the car and back to smoke...
THE FIRST THING HE TOLD ME NOT TO...
THE FIRST THING I DO...
WHY AM I SUCH %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
I am damaging my nervous system and I get out and got up to my eye balls...
I really need to stop, I can not control...
Got very important stuff at work and have to prepare the trip.
I do not know how %%%%% Heavens I am going to get an urgent visit to the Neurologist
bc what ever happens I am going away.
I am not cancelling the trip if I stay here I will BE on holiday at home and alone.
really bad thing...
I AN VERY UPSET WITH MYSELF 