You know, I told our counselor at marrital counseling the other day (in front of my husband) that I am not saying I want to split up because I love him less, or that he is a terrible person, or out of anger or spite. I HAVE to split up if he is going to continue to drink to preserve my own mental health and that of my children. It was as simple as that. The counselor could see that and for the first time I think my husband was actually listening and understanding this because I was not talking to him, I was talking about myself to the counselor.
I believe it was an eye opener to both myself and to him. I will always love him, he is my husband and the father of our children. However, for my mental health if I have to split from him I will. Love does not trump every single thing in life. It does not get you through your day. It's nice to have and we all need love but in a stable and loving environment.
Good Luck and God Bless. My heart goes out to you!