Kindeyes ... you could never sound calloused because you aren't. You are a mom who loves her son deeply and no amount of ESH will ever completely lessen the pain of seeing our precious children suffer. It will however; help us as we walk our own journey or perhaps stand at the hole ready to offer the rope. (I love that word picture by the way, so succinct and empowering!)
Over the months I've been coming here I've seen such love, wisdom and compassion in your posts. You have brought strength to so many of us and I'm sure many more who read but don't post. I pray that knowing how God has brought good out of the pain that addiction has wrought in your life can be of some comfort to you. I also pray that this relapse will be short in duration ...
my son relapsed earlier this year but got back on track ... I suspect he may have been heading for another relapse but committed a technical violation of his probation and has been in jail since the end of Sept. (long story not sure what I really believe sigh). He will most likely not get much time once he goes to court since he has no charges other than the tech violation. He continues to speak about continuing his recovery and has told me that he has had opportunities in jail to speak to other addicts about the 12 steps. Funny thing is that last summer he was in full blown addiction and should have been arrested multiple times but wasn't. I told him he should think long and hard as to why God has allowed this in his life now.
I am committed to my recovery as well.... so I pray, live one day at a time and offer encouragement to those God brings along my path as I know you will do as well. Big hugs to you today