I have been exactly where you are!
I kicked my AH out when I was pregnant with our son. He stole something from my mom and that was the end of me dealing with his behavior. I worked through the shame of HIS actions. I didn't steal, lie, act selfishly.
He accused me of not loving him, it wasn't him, I was falsely accusing him... blah blah blah. I just couldn't take it anymore. (i'm sure you understand)
We were separated for 8 months and he landed himself in jail. For the first time... EVER he finally admitted he needed help... that he was WRONG! That's when recovery began. When he got out of jail I paid for him to take a bus to go stay with his uncle half way across the USA. He was able to stay sober. They tested him, gave him a job that he went to everyday, went to the gym everyday, was happy and learned a sober way to live. It wasn't a program, or NA... but it was working. He came home after 6 months for christmas and relapsed... so he went back to his uncles for another 6 months. Then we found out he was being charged with selling from back from 2 years. So another setback, another jail term, then mandatory meetings 3 times a week and probation. Well... 2 years later, and he violated probation and he's back in jail. This time he's coming home but planning on leaving for a 14 month faith based program. I don't know if it will work.... but it's a chance. He wants it. I think that's the most important. So wherever the journey brings us... we learn, grow, and we will get through it.
Many days I mourned the loss of him.