Upset - I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and recovering codie with loved ones who are still addicts (A's).
A few years ago, I had a friend that I had been locked up with in a diversion center with for about 6 months. We both did well, then she got sent to prison. She kept asking me for money, telling me "you don't know how HARD it is in here!!!". I was working as much as possible, trying to keep my head above water and said "you don't know how hard it is out here!!!".
She was angry, sent me letters of the horrors of prison. I couldn't take care of me and her.
She got out of prison, I picked her up and got her a cheap motel room for a week, as I had done well in tips that month.
She actually got a job, waiting tables, but it wasn't 2 weeks and she sent me a message saying "OMG, you were right!!!! I had no idea how hard it was on the outside!!"
I guess my point is, she thought prison was horrific. She had no idea what life in recovery was like, trying to get out of the hole we'd dug ourselves into.
I have numerous loved ones who are A's, right now, though none of them are in prison....for now. I found recovery because I was forced to face my consequences, and they can do the same.
I admit, I've given in at times. However, there are very simple TV's that are cheap and he doesn't have to have the very expensive one. If we don't learn that there are consequences to our addictions, we will just keep on doing the same old thing.
It's not easy, but we have to take care of US first.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy