Hi Hopeful. Cliche or not- take it a day at a time. I reached that point as well where I simply knew I would loose it all if I didn't quit- especially my health. No one can say whether someone is or is not an alcoholic- you really need to answer it for yourself. Take a month or better away from all drink and evaluate. Is the desire too strong? Have you suffered physical withdraws? Blacking out is never a good thing- glad you know that and have decided to join us- if even for a short time. Browse the boards- you are bound to find oodles of help and answers to your questions!