Glad you are back giving recovery another chance.
Originally Posted by
WritingHelps 
Thought I could make it through some weddings/ bachelorette parties, etc and I was wrong.
You made an almost identical post a year ago. I'm not saying this to upbraid you, just that your hope that journalling will help you remember how bad you feel is a vain one.
The problem with alcoholism is that we have insufficient strength to draw on our memories when the need arises. You prior posts here on SR document your problems with drinking, but they didn't prevent it.
Have you thought about a solid recovery plan or substance abuse prevention program to help you?