hopeful in fla,
that through an al anon filter site - my eyes are POPPING OUT OF MY HEAD. it's like that person is taking thoughts and feelings out of my head. everything is so helpful...i'm so relieved for everyone's responses. i can't believe i'm not alone. when it got really bad this past month, when he lost his job, we both really started to shut down. i only left the house to go to work and ran home to make sure he was alive.
i so effectively shut the outside world out in what i saw as an effort to protect us that i isolated myself from everything. reading these posts is like gasping for air and finally getting it. i'm so racked with guilt for letting it get so bad. i figured he was just depressed and self medicating which i didn't see as that big of a deal as long as i could keep the show going, i thought eventually he'd see how much i care about him and kinda snap out of it...he had in the past. he almost died. he still may.