Try, I feel your pain. I am not young, and have been "in" AA for many years, with a lot of sober periods, long ones. But my life has totally fallen apart in the last year. I finally gave up and did rehab #3-just got out a few days ago.
In there we had a family meeting one day and I got honest about all the secrets I have been hiding from my bf. It was very hard to throw it all out there but such a relief. We are working through things, and I have HUGE messes to clean up in every area of my life.
Fortunately, I found a great AA sponsor before I went in and she is tremendous support. "Baby steps" she says, offsetting the "gotta-dos" (gotta do this, gotta do that…NOW) which has sent me reeling. But even in a few short days I have cleaned up a lot. It will take me months to straighten out the chaos of my unmanageable life, years to fix financial worries, and I have legal issues.
I have announced this at all the meetings of AA I attend (at least 1/day) and get nothing but love and support there.
Don't drink, just for today; or if you caved yesterday, today is a fresh start.