I remember in the last part of my drinking, that terrible feeling of I can't stop and I don't know if I even want to stop. I definately enjoyed the buzz and the feeling the booze gave me.
At the end of the day I had to get to the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted that buzz. This journey is not easy for anyone, I had to change people, places, things and the way I thought and did things. The one way thinking had to go out the window so to speak.