Thanks all....I do know that when I stopped going to meetings...I relapsed. Right now I am using this forum and taking a look at SMART and Rational recovery as well.
wpainterw....I have learned that I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT drink in moderation. It starts out well enough...but doesn't take long to return to my alcoholic drinking. Not even ONE drink. A friend in AA, years ago, used to call people like me "scouts"...checking out what it is like "out there"...always to return after a relapse, once again seeking sobriety. Obviously, drinking has not made things better, or helped me deal with my daughter (although I was sober during her DUI, rehab and subsequent heroin use)....just not this last time. I know I need support....and I am trying. I live in a remote area of the country where there are not meetings....so I HAVE to try something different. Thanks for your directness....a bit hurtful...but nonetheless, spot on!