Guess who has just been to her first face to face Alanon meeting.
Okay I did it. I just got home from my very first face to face Al Anon meeting. I know its not the best word for this site but I can't get to a better word than "high" for how I'm feeling right now. The online meetings are great but tonight..WOW.
The car park for the church it was in was tiny and on a hill and I was so nervous that a very nice man had to guide me when I was reverse parking. "left hand down a bit, straighten up now" I've been driving in a busy city for 20 years.
Walking through the closed door was ugghh. The rest was easy. No the rest was fantastic. The rest was cathartic.
Honeypig, Hammer, all the people who said "get ye to Alanon" why did you not hold my arm up my back and force me a month ago. (you know I'm joking) Thank you thank you thank you.
Ok the meeting.
Eleven people, around my age and upwards, Fantastic share that I understood from the chair then round the room.
I'm being honest here some of the shares were kind of aimed at me and "newness". Had I had no knowledge at all, no SR or online meetings that would have been wonderful, but a bit of me was thinking "ok I know its a disease" or whatever. I absolutely acknowledge it was amazing they would do that for me.
Other shares..wow...my life.
I cried and cried and cried. I cried when people were sharing. I cried when they asked me if I wanted to say anything (I just kind of thanked them for being so nice to me through my tears). The fellowship at the end was just me in a puddle and people coming up to say hi and I don't need to do anything today and its time to think about me and all the things you guys say that make me cry here. But wow the power of hearing it whilst someone is looking in your eyes and smiling.
One older lady actually dozed off whilst the chair lady was sharing and the cup of coffee in her hand spilled. The folks around her were giggling (including the chair) and whilst she was apologizing profusely the chair was saying "you must have needed it. Take what you need and leave the rest" ..cute.
Hmm lady sitting right next to me touched me a bit too much, my arm my shoulder , rubbing my back whilst I was crying. I know she was comforting me but it was kind of making me worse. I maybe need a strategy for that.
All the hugs during the fellowship part were great. People listening to me with no judgement in their eyes, wow.
So roll on next week.
I'm going to order take out now.
There is only me home and I'm going to have myself a pizza.
I haven't done that for years.
I feel fantastic.