The alcoholic voice is working on you as you have these thoughts. It is strong and wants you to go back to drinking, does it care if you last 10 years or 1 year or maybe a month depending on how bad you drink/drug. NO it does not it wants you dead!
When you think the thoughts put it where it belongs to the beast of alcoholism. Realize and be honest with youself. I think we have all had these thoughts..the mind never stops even when asleep. 80% of what we think about never happens..so if the Alcoholic voice is screaming at you..oh go ahead...your ok...you didn't get a dui..you didn't lose that much. Then the beast wins..and you lose once again.
Stay strong for yourself..for your family ...you can do it
Thanks for sharing!