Clarity
I joined SR in March this year and to be honest, I wanted to stop drinking but never really had the conviction to do so.
Yesterday, I bought 2 bottles of wine and hid them, then drunk them after my husband went out to meet his sister and brother. He is not drinking at the minute - health drive.
He doesn't know that I had them.
I realised that I am kidding noone but myself. It is my health at risk. I watched a programme last night about a 35 year girl who has to get 20+ litres of fluid drained from her stomach every 3 weeks due to ascites - alcohol induced. It was also about binge drinking and the people interviewed said they did it because ' you only live once'. There was a 21 year old who has had 2 bouts of pancreatitis and still drank heavily.
I just thought to myself - 'wise up .... and there but for the grace of God etc'.
I feel like c**p today but also feel good because I never want to fell like this again. Its not worth it - life is for living and drinking does not enable that.
I have so much I want to do and drinking prevents me from achieving anything. I signed up to do a degreee in health and social care, starting in February, and was actually considering not doing it because I knew that I couldn't do it while drinking. More sensible to do the course and give up the drink!!
Anyway, I am just putting my thoughts out into the air - they are not entirely thought through or edited.
I will be on SR a lot over the next days, months etc.
Keep well everyone xx