I've had these tendancies since early on, I would compulsively pick at injuries from accidents and was sent to the school psychiatrist once or twice, neither could pin anything on me -
I recall one kid would get overstimulated and melt down he'd get sent to the corner to sit amongst pillows and books to chill whilst we (the normal) got different treatment.
Everything was (relatively, In a way) fine until I hit adolescence,
I'd become increasingly withdrawn and my sleep patterns became erratic.
My GP prescribed Chlorpromazine & Diazepam Woah!,
I was referred onto a psychiatrist within a matter of weeks &
Diagnosed with a Schizo-affective disorder I'm now taking Seroquel 300mg,
Whilst this keeps me from tipping into psychoses and maintaining regular sleep.
I have this feeling inside me sometimes It's like absolute poison...
I've felt so frustrated with myself that I take a panic attack,
Subsequently I'll bash my wrists / start rocking back and forth /
Become suicidal whilst not experiencing depression just...
from the actual state I get into and the fact It's a long-term ongoing issue.
Telling me to calm down is like telling a guy with Parkinsons to stop shaking,
I most likely become angry which I cannot express or cope with healthily.
Leading to guilt over my intense relationship,
Self-hatred leading to more relapses.
