Originally Posted by
ResignedToWait 
That cuts to the heart of it choublak. Staying with a RA is like living with a guillotine poised over your head for the rest of the relationship...or at least, that's what I'd imagine it to be like.
It CAN be that way, if you choose to. For a long time, I did.
Now I just worry about me & since I have learned to define my self-worth & happiness outside of our relationship I know I can overcome a relapse. I can't control it if it were to happen, but I can keep myself from going over the edge with him if that's what he chooses, kwim?
None of that means I love him any less, in fact, I think I can argue that it's the highest form of love to just stay out of his way & let him make his own decisions & deal with his own consequences.