I think the fact that your drinking is causing you clear distress and upset in your life and messing with your calmness is enough to realise that it's a problem for you.
Forget the labels - it doesn't matter what you 'are' ultimately what matters is that your not happy with this lifestyle and you would be a lot happier not drinking. Some of us are just allergic to alcohol. It absolutely paralyses me with anxiety too when I drink. When I don't drink I'm reasonably ok - I'm still wired high but it's manageable.
Why don't you try a weekend off the sauce and see how you feel? It certainly won't do you any harm
I wish you well whatever you decide to do.