Short term memory theory.. binge drinking
So, I posted here yesterday for the first time. About that "feeling of hopelessness" the morning after a binge-a-thon. I was at the bottom of the barrel yesterday... the memories of what did happen, the periods of time I don't remember... all of it makes me cringe. With my historical pattern, I know I won't even THINK about drinking for... a month? maybe a week? but then that time will come. just like it came last sunday. when I am out with friends, they invite me to the bar to watch the game, and next thing you know I drink until I pass out. and everytime I start drinking, I think to myself "what's the big deal? EVERYONE ELSE can drink once a week, get drunk and be perfectly OK with it". and I think yea, I am too hard on myself.
Why is it that I have such short term memory of the "day after" feeling? It's like I convince myself that just because it's socially acceptable to drink "once in a while" I should do it too. I can go months without a drop of alcohol and be PERFECTLY HAPPY and proud of myself... and then that one day comes and I think "why not!!" Short term memory theory sucks. I am scared that right now, the memory of my shame and disappointment in myself is too vivid now, but come this weekend.............