Originally Posted by
animalnurse9 
More important than him forgiving me is that I forgive myself and be kind to me.
Absolutely true. I have gotten sober through AA (I don't mention it as promotion, there are other ways to skin this cat) and couldn't understand why it was so important to do this personal inventory. What difference did it make what I did 20 years ago??
In retrospect, I realize it was important because if I was still dragging 20 year old baggage around in my subconscious, it was a hindrance to forgiveness. Forgiveness is like pulling the yarn on a cheap sweater: once you start, the whole thing starts to untangle. I found that I couldn't forgive myself without also forgiving those whose transgressions to me were hanging around in my memories. It may seem like a lot of trouble (and it is, trust me) but cleaning out the attic of our discontent is really important to getting and staying sober.
AN: Thanks for sharing your insight & keep up the good work!