It was a big step just to go today – be proud of yourself ! It was hard for me the first few times I went to therapy. I would feel good, and then later feel very emotional. I think switching closer to home would be easier for you, and although Ive heard people say you shouldn’t share a therapist with a spouse, if they are professional then I think it works out fine. My husband and I did marriage counseling together, and we also worked individually with the marriage counselor. I think it can give them a broader insight sometimes. But that’s just my opinion…
Tough one in regards to his mom. Maybe you could share your concerns, and then try to let it go?
If he doesn’t remember much of that night, then I think it would have greatly reduced the impact for him, and made it easier to minimize what happened, revert back to what he felt were “normal” behaviors. Or, if he felt some anxiety from it, then he may have used more to make it all fade away. I think he would be in a much worse place; no acceptance, no treatment. And I think you would have been in continued danger, and forced to leave for your safety.