I stopped doing holidays with my FOO 8 or so years ago. It was Christmas Eve, and we had to call the cops to get my mom out of my grandparents' house.
Now, we spend holidays our own ways. Sometimes, we go to a friend's house and do the turkey thing. Last Christmas, we went out of town for a couple of days and went out to eat. If you call around or look in the newspaper, you can find restaurants who serve a special holiday meal. Other years, we've just had something small and ate quietly at home. I know of people who go to food kitchens to volunteer at the holidays. I think that is an excellent idea, too.
It seems a lot of people struggle at holidays--relatives tend to act their worst when there is a crowd gathered. They have a big audience. Plus, people have high expectations for holidays.
So, my suggestion is that you start your own traditions for you and your kids for the holidays. Your mother and two sisters can go ahead and be involved in drama if that's what they want. You don't have to take part in it.