So, what you're saying is... you may or may not get a lawyer, but you can't bail him out now?
I'm on a venn diagram kick tonight. It might help to make one regarding getting him a lawyer, or not getting him a lawyer - for your son and yourself. I think in this situation it may be the job of the venn diagram, or listen to your heart... or your brain. I'm not sure.
I just don't think I could provide any useful advice that would help you on whether or not to hire a lawyer at this point.
I do, honestly hope you find peace. I wish things had been different.