eco

I just wanted to share my experience and see if anyone has felt the same.

I got a DUI a couple years and decided to quit drinking. I drank for about a month after the DUI and stopped for three months. But then I had to take a DUI education course and attend AA and started drinking again. After the course I drank for awhile and mainly managed to keep my blackouts to once a week. I was constantly reading the big book, going to smart recovery, and obsessing over not drinking again. Its all I thought about, and I always ended up relapsing.

Finally, early last Summer I said screw it, I'd rather drink myself to death than attend AA because it just freaked me out and made me feel depressed and horrible.

When I left AA I just went about my life, and I never drank again, or really thought about it at all. I quit having any real cravings. I really just quit thinking about not drinking. I just didn't drink or think about it. I found a gf, told her I don't drink, and really feel in control. I have no pressure to drink and it is not a problem right now.

I honestly feel that AA, and SMART, just made me feel that I couldn't be happy on my own, or make it not drinking on my own. All I did was obsess over not drinking and end up drinking and craving more and more. I'd see people fail in AA and SMART and I'd become convinced I'd fail. And in AA there were always many people at the meeting, but very few people were there for any period of time and I always felt doomed.

Does anyone think that working a program does more harm than good. I needed that initial break from alcohol, but after that I really needed to just not think about it.

However, I am not sure how it would be if I had to be around alcohol constantly . I am around drinkers, but its a small part of my life.