Sadly, I understand the discussions on this page more than I hoped I would. As Wisconsin shared, sometimes the attention from that "other" person is enough of a wake-up call to make you realize that something needs to change. I also have experienced it recently, and go back and forth between feeling exhilarated, angry at my AH, saddened by the fact that I would consider leaving, and even guilty. So, now that all of our eyes have been opened (even if it is not in the usual manner), it might be time to take some further steps.
BTW, Normies wouldn't consider lying to their SO's and say that they are going to a Yoga class when they are really working up the nerve to attend their first Al Anon meeting...