Originally Posted by
Mentium 
As an aside - you post made me think of this Gracie - I can't think of a single resentment in my own mind.
I don't think this is denial. I hope not anyway. Am I missing something?
You know, my sponsor asked me something when I was going through my resentments and my amends. She asked me, about me.
It is true that I have to let go of the resentment and anger towards others and I have to make amends for the hurt I caused but I have to look at me too.
My answer at the time was that I never felt I hurt me. That there was no resentments I had towards myself but more was revealed and there are.
I was talking with someone the other day about Halloween plans. My kids are grown and there are no trick or treaters here. I wish I could borrow someones kid so I could take them out or go to someones house to give out candy.
These are simple things but are things I regret doing while drinking. I was in such a hurry to get back to the drink that I feel I completely missed the real experience. I was walking in Walmart the other day looking at all the Halloween stuff and I got very sad. I remember going costume shopping with my kids but again, it was always a rush. I wanted to get back home so I could "relax". Now I could spend hours with them looking at all the stuff but that time in my life has passed and I resentment myself for it.
I can't go back and I have to forgive myself and move on which is easier said then done but it is on my mental list of something I have to work on. Like I said, I am not "there".
Looking at myself is hard because it appeared that most of my life I was putting others first. My kids or my husbands but in reality I was always putting me first. I was selfish. I took care of them but only after I could maneuver them around my booze.