Hi Somegirl, I'm glad that you found SR. I am so terribly sorry for what you went through. You've made a great first step by taking alcohol off the table--the further you get away from the drink, the better you'll be able to heal from your past trauma. I understand how it feels to be angry at an abuser--I'm struggling with letting go too, although in my case it was not by a family member. I've numbed anger and resentment for many years with wine and I want to finally work on these issues with a sober head.
Have you ever been to therapy to work through the abuse?