Thanks for the responses
Seriously thanks so much to all who have written in response to my first post. I wanted to wait until Friday to go to my first meeting again and start sobering up because I have to work tomorrow and Friday, and the past few times I've quit for a day or two I've been a mess--sleepless, sweaty, hard to concentrate.
I don't want to sound like I'm in denial. I really want this. I want abstinence. I want a community and to feel like I can live my life without the burdens of deceit and anxiety.