Not trying to get through to my exabf was the hardest thing in the world for me. I am not a stupid person but for some reason I could not get it through my head that he was unreachable due to his sickness.
I always thought that if I just explained to him ONE more time how he had hurt me, and how destructive his drinking was for him, that he would suddenly see the light and get sober.
I was so sick. I think I believed I had some magical power to heal him, like I was his HP. His HP was alcoholism.
Of course one can't have a healthy relationship with a sick person. It's so logical but so effing hard to accept on a deep level.
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