Jd77, it sounds to me like you may be struggling with the grief of a breakup. It is real grief, and it hurts like Hel*!! There is no way to avoid the short-term pain--for long term gain. (there are ways to get through it, though). If you don't fight it too hard, the grief will eventually pass. Living with active addictions--the pain goes on, and on, and on.....
You have much more strength than you are aware of. We never know how much courage we really have until it is the only option. You had it once....it is simply lying dormant, right now!
You are doing the right things.....I say, just keep on doing them...I think you are doing better than you think you are. You need to put your faith in yourself.
You will get through this. Believe it.
dandylion