Well, AO, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you might have an alcoholic/addict mind.
Willpower only works when I think I'm fighting doing something wrong. But that peculiar mental twist of alcoholism starts working on "ol' Will" and, eventually, my mind starts to believe it's a good thing to drink, not a bad thing, and ol' Will(power) buckles. I can stand only so much discomfort and battle only so long before that resistance crumbles. I need to find something that will stand in between me and that first drink.
Are you using any program of recovery? That is what the myriad of recovery tools are meant to provide: a defense against that first drink/drug.