Originally Posted by
Florence 
It's like the man I loved is gone, but still walks the earth. A different kind of death.
Oh, Florence, I have had almost this same exact thought so many times with my XA. Big hugs to you.
I second what others are saying about having a positive male role models in your son's life. I also think that the silver lining is you. What a beautiful thing to say. It's true too. You are wise and sane and healthy enough to be open and honest and to listen to your son. Thank you for planting the seed in my mind of how I might respond to my son if/when we are dealing with the same crap from his dad in 12 (or any number of) years. At least our kids spend more time with the healthier parent.