Speaking from my own personal experience only, the guilt, shame and self loathing went away when I did the 12 steps of AA. I don't know if youre in AA or not though.
Nevertheless, I think those feeling should fade the more sober time you get and the more you begin to live as the person you want to be, alcohol free. You can't change the past, but you should be able to look at yourself proudly in the mirror each day you are sober, knowing that you are now doing your best for yourself and your children.