And here's my 2 cents for you DD.
That sucks!!! I would be scared too. I would be all are you kidding me?? I just went through hell and back and now I have to deal with either being in pain or taking a drug I could get addicted to?? That's it?? My only 2 choices?? I don't like either choice. Go back to doctor school and find me one I can work with!! Ugh!!
I don't know. I do know that for me pain pills were never my thing but I had been known to take one on occasion just for the high. I've taken them when I was in pain and when I wasn't. Nothing to mess with unsupervised for sure. However, for me, when I was actually in pain, they didn't produce the same affect. Eventually my body recovered and stopped being in pain and then it was decision time. I could easily see where if I liked how it changed how I felt or shut me down, I'd be in trouble. And to be honest, I did like that. I was just always to lazy to go bs a doctor to get more when the liquor store was easier.
On a positive note though. I have a friend that was born with juvenile arthritis. She has had about every joint replaced that is needed for walking...a couple of times on some. I think that because she was born that way and has always had to deal with pain since she was little she has a tolerance like no other. After her knee replacements, she had an arsenal of pain killers including fentanyl. sp? She is a nurse so she can get whatever she needs whenever she wants. I picked up her prescriptions once for her after a surgery and the pharmacist was like does she know what she has here??? I said yes, she knows.
She hardly takes anything. She threw more drugs away then Keith Richards knew existed. She also always told me that she could tell the difference between need something fixed pain and surgery recovery pain. Surgery recovery pain is easier because she knew it would improve. Getting fixed pain is worse. She just had her knee done again and she is all happy because even though she still hurts about the same it's a different kind of hurt. She takes Aleve and that's it. Wth?? It just tells me that the human spirit is pretty amazing. She's not a saint. She could have been a pain pill addict just as much as anyone else. She just has no interest in shutting down her feelings or going through life chasing a high. She just wants to manage pain if she needs to.
So maybe you just need to focus on managing the getting waiting to get fixed pain. Then focus on the body recovery pain when it's time to focus on that. Break it down. That helps me.
Jmo but I think there is a big difference in being dependent upon a drug and being addicted to it. Probably most people who get pain killers risk a dependence but the doctors can help with that if people are honest. Addiction is when we get to the point we like how it shuts down our feelings or we chase the high. Nothing to do with pain or no pain. And when I took them I knew the reason I took every single one of them. I knew if it was I hurt and I knew when it was I want to be high. I always knew.
Whatever you do just don't do it alone. And it sounds like you have so many people who will help you every step of the way. (((Hug)))