I feel that when alcohol consumes your life, you are an alcoholic.
In my early days of drinking I just bought beer or went to the bars and had fun when drinking. I never thought of the health risks, the cost of alcohol, or the problems that could arise from drinking everyday.
But as the years went on my whole life and daily thoughts were about hangovers, getting booze, health issues from drinking, trying to quit or slow down my drinking, trying to rationalize why drinking is ok, feeling guilty from the things I did or said when drunk, etc.
Enough was enough. If you are drinking, drunk, hungover and/or alcohol related issues are on your mind a large percentage of everyday then yes - you are an alcoholic.
I have always had a job, a home, a car, a woman, money in my pocket. I have never really wanted for anything. Some people still believe in order to be an alcoholic you have to be a broken down loser. Not true.