Wehav, I feel for your partner and you for what you both will be dealing with. Pease feel free to share anything here as you are dealing. Shoes has recently been through similar and lifetplant lost her mother earlier this year, so we understand the pain of having someone we love going through this, some much more than others.
DD I totally understand your fears and predicament. If only there was a strong pain medication which wasn't potentially addictive and doesn't #### with our heads. I also understand your psychiatrist, she is advising controlled medication which can be tapered, so as to prevent you reaching a point of desperation which may have you reaching out for something much worse with unpredictable consequences. I also understand your mother. She is not an addict, she knows you don't have an opiate addiction, so in her mind it is relatively simple.
My feeling her DD, and please tell me I. Wrong if I am. But you are more frightened of a return to who you were than any amount of pain. I feel that what you are blinding yourself to, is how strong you really are. I believe you have it within you, to alter how you see these meds. Instead of being something to fear, which may lead to repeating past mistakes, I know you can make yourself realise that they are a necessary, temporary help. Is there a way to take them mostly at night so, not only do you sleep, but you do not consciously get a high?
If however, you genuinely do not feel you have the inner strength just now to accept medication, then accept all the offers of friendship and help, allow humility, it is no bad emotion to accept into our lives, and use the time to get to know your AA friends better.
Whatever you decide, you also have us in the ether. Pretty useless I know, but for late night dreads, moans and groans, we are the perfect companions. And we also care!