"You can't have a healthy relationship with an unhealthy person!"
My experience with my XABF has taught me this the hard way...When he was "dry," he was often rude and manipulative, and I'd brush it off as me being 'too sensitive.' When he began getting wasted again and standing me up, I thought 'ok, this is totally rude, but I'll try to give him another chance.' Three chances later, I was still trying to figure out how *I* could adapt to make him happy. I wondered why he was acting that way, why he thought I was "too serious" and "too judgmental," etc. It wasn't until after he went AWOL that I realized the truth of his alcoholism...Now I know that nothing I could've done/said would've given us the happy ending I was hoping for. And that's ok....I don't blame myself anymore.