I don't think there are any magic words to say to your wife to fix things. If she is going to forgive you, it's going to take time, probably months. That sucks because we alcoholics tend to be an inpatient, immediate gratification bunch.
You have a much better chance of fixing things with your wife through actions not words. Show her through your actions that you are sober and intend to stay sober. Regular attendance at AA meetings and working with a sponsor might help.
One of the things we do when working the steps of AA is to make amends for our past behavior. I think that's hard to do with a spouse, especially if you've been married a long time. I mean, where do you start, "I'm sorry for getting drunk on August 8th, 1998." I can't possibly remember all my drunken behavior (and there's part of me that's hesitant to bring up an incident that she may have forgotten about!).
I think what works better is a "living amend" where she notices the personality change in you without you needing to point it out to her. That's the kind of behavior change that's necessary, what program you use to accomplish that change is your choice. For me it was AA.