Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
your first step is to stop attempting to talk sense to HIM. talk sense to YOURSELF. do not engage. do not give him your ear when he is on a rant. spend as much time OUT Of his company as possible.
This is simple and sane advice, hopegone.
I can also deeply relate to your feeling that in fact, I am the one going crazy. I talked my A off so many cliffs, only to find myself teetering on the brink of them myself.
Although I love him still, separating from him has restored my peace of mind, and what was feeling like my increasingly fragile sanity.
We do speak occasionally, but because I don't live with him or see him anymore, when I hear the crazy-alcohol-saturated man on the phone, I simply say, "whoops, gotta go". And I HANG UP. And I do not fret. And I do not call him back. And I do not answer if he tries to call.
Honestly, I am sorry, but I can't really think of a reasonable way to stay sane while living with an active A!! I guess others might have some advice that fits your situation better.
Please do take care of yourself - and guard your health and sanity fiercely. You can be sure he won't do that for you. It's your job alone.
Spider