Dude, people assume the worst if they suspect you're a drunk and you call in sick. Legit sick or not. Blaming them for that is a waste of everybody's time.
You first posted in May this year, it's now October. What have you been doing to try to get sober?
If you just wanna stay a drunk and not lose your job, you're in the wrong place. Your own advice will do just fine for that and end the same.