On my eyeballs the following saying is taped: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." What Alanon taught me is love can't exist when trust and respect are gone. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and there is nothing you can say or do that will stop an alcoholic from drinking. But we do have power in changing ourselves, learning to bring healthier people into our lives ... God bless Alanon.