Then he stated that he would have to get a job and get his own place. I said ok. Well, he has not talked to me or her in a week.
You were right to say this...regardless of how he responded. His response shows a lack of respect or appreciation for what you do, so maybe stop doing anything for him and let him find his own way with his own rules. It's your condo, you get to call the shots.
His sister was right too. As a woman, I would be frightened to come home and find people I didn't know or people I didn't care for sitting on my step. I would have asked them to leave too...regardless of why they were there. They could have called first.
My son is my addicted loved one and if there's one thing I have learned in recovery it is that I don't have to lower my bar of values and personal safety, I don't have to walk on eggshells and fear sending him into a relapse...he can and has done that all by himself even at the best of times.
You're doing just fine. Trust your recovery and trust the process.
Hugs from another mama's heart.