Hi befuddled...we say progress, not perfection. No judgement here - each person has to do what is the right thing for them in their individual situation. Even the seemingly small steps (not going to the function) add up to big changes.
Have you made it to an AlAnon meeting yet? That will help keep your focus on yourself and your daughter. Also, a great read is Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I'm on my second read through - completely enlightening!