Hi befuddled,
Oh my gosh, I for one, could never, would never, judge you. I took back my xabf more times than I can count - each time he was sober for a while, remorseful, promising to get help, pledging his love for me and my daughters, and on and on and on.
This went on for 3 years.
I haven't seen him for almost 3 months. But we are still in contact. I feel weak sometimes, too, even though all we do is occasionally text, or talk on the phone.
He sounds a bit like my A - admitting his problem, doing some half-assed work to change it (maybe to keep me off his back), but always the demon wins. So far.
The lies are a deeply embedded part of the psyche of an active alcoholic. They couldn't face themselves, or anyone else each day without a good bunch of them ready to go.
It's an awful affliction, befuddled. And I am ashamed to admit that my daughters' well-being and what I model for them was a primary motivator in me breaking it off. I can see the benefits to me, too, but I am much more wobbly in that regard.
I wish you well.
Spider