Depression?
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced symptoms like me and if it's considered depression.
I don't have constant sadness. I don't cry. But what does happen is that I fall into ruts where it feels like even brushing my teeth is too hard. Where I could go for days in the same pjs, don't shower, could sleep for probably 24 hrs at a time. Just let everything pile up. Don't make plans, don't talk to anyone. I end up feeling like an exhausted zombie. I barely feed myself. Everything is just too tiring. Any self-care feels like climbing a mountain. I manage to get by because I have to take care of my child and I certainly don't let anything slide In that regard. But it is hard for me to even get dressed some days. I don't understand it. I don't know if it's a consequence of how hard I usually push myself or if it's like perfectionism crash or what. I've been like this for years. My husband is gone for five days and I'm in this place right now where I may not be able to force myself to do anything beyond sleep and take care of my child and get some work done at home. I used to have unexplained, heavy sadness too but I take an anti-depressant and now that I've been sober I feel even better in that regard. It's just this immobility that hits me. Usually I am super clean and active and high achieving but when these things hit its like I'm just stuck in mud until it lifts. One thing I used alcohol for at times was some energy to interact with people and get things done when I felt like this. I am able to care well for my primary responsibilities (child & work) but everything else is so hard.